more than just friend

I have these special feeling deep inside my heart that I really scared to express out. In my mind, deepest thoughts and deep inside my head, I can sense that you are special to me. I was just looking for a friend but I found more than that. I found a special soul mate that I never expect it turn out to be you. I do not want to rush things up. I do not want to take the risk. I do not want to rush us right now. In friendship, there is still a lot of things that we can explore, things that we can share, happiness and joy that we can share with. But I know there is a growing warmth deep inside me. I could not just ignore that but I just do not want to rush things up and regret in the future. I enjoy every single second that we spend together. I will appreciate and remember that. We are so free and comfortable when we are together. I have been thinking of you a lot when I’m alone. I message you and think of you every night. I miss you. I feel that we have so many things to share, so many secrets to uncover together. And also a whole new life that awaits us both to discover in the future. I do not know what I should do. Am I making the right decision? Will I regret doing this? I do not know where we are heading or how and when our road together will end. But as for now, you are truly someone special. You are more than JUST a friend.

What for and for what?

Sometimes we make our life miserable by doing something that different from before, just to make people surround us to notice us. I believe everyone done this before, right? Why torturing ourselves like that? What for and for what? No point keeping quite beside and wait for people to realize you. What if people really do not notice anything? Blame them for that reasons? Answer this question, WORTH IT???

When in a group of friends, there is a risk you do this. Why if they really do not notice you? We may have a lot of friends and you will just lost among all our friends. Sometimes you will think, what sort of best friends that forget best friends? But if you already can say that you are best friends then what for you doing all this? Could not do anything so you stop talking and be quite? Stop talking will just make you feel sad, being neglected and increase your anger. As a friend, main reason going out together is to be happy and have fun. Why make yourself like a stranger to your entire friend? Think back your friends neglected you and treated you as stranger or you make yourselves become a stranger to us.

Instead of doing like that why don’t we do something that stands out from all people? Do something that amaze them and stand out among your friends

A Reply to YOU......

Being used is really not a good word to say someone. Sometimes, you may have feel that you haven being used, but think from other perspective. Are you willing to being used by that person? YES I DO. Surely if you love someone, you are willing to do anything or everything for him/her. Used, unconditional sacrifice, anything for him/her because as for you, he/she is your everything. Feelings are unquestionably hard to control. Sometimes, things that you think may not be consistent as what you feel. Simple example, by right something that I not suppose to do, but when follow my heart, I have done it. However, I always wonder whether I should do like that. Doubt myself. You cannot blame me for what I feel, and what I felt in my heart because it is something that you will never understand. What I felt in my heart is not what I have in mind. And surely I did not ask anything in return from you over what I have sacrificed because I knew you have also done the same for me. But at least, just a simple appreciation will do. That’s what I felt and what I have in mind.