Arranged LiFe

Do you prefer your life being arranged for you? Everything being arrange nicely and neatly for you. Why people have such thinking? Depend on other people to arrange for you. I believe that we are responsible over our own life. If so, are you going to regret for something that you should done but till now haven done anything? Or you rather do not want made wrong decision that will make you regret? In this life, there are a lot of choices for us to be made. We are what we are today because of the choices we made in the past. Have no regrets in our life. I just do not hope that some of you all praying everyday hoping to get a chance to go back in time and make correction. As a conclusion, life is not like movies where we can replay, rewind, and fast forward, therefore have no regrets and take those bad decisions as a lesson. Lesson of life.

BeinG UseD

Sometimes I feels I am being used, sometimes I feels that all of what I have done is not appreciated, sometimes I feels what for I am doing all this, sometimes does it worth it I done all this and sometimes makes me wonder whether I am right or not. But surely one simple answer “don’t know” is not going to solve anything. Ever think of why are you standing here for? Ever wonder have you made a correct decision? Or most of the times you ask someone to make decision for you? Or you will just depend on god? I believe that our fate is in our hand and choice are for us to made and not made for us. Whether it is our destiny or not, surely we have to made our decision and select our path wisely and intelligently. Once decision is made, hold on to it and make changes if needed.

Scattered All OveR

I’ve done a lot of things to get my mind off her. Time surely plays an important role here. Should I break off all contacts with her? Must I do that? As for now, I tried to get my life back by gathering pieces that had scattered all over. I tried to get on my feet and continue on with my life. Why is it so hard to be done? I need to go on and surely I do not want my life continue like this. Body without soul. Hardly go through each day of my life. What had happen cannot be undone. Things that we’ve lost hardly retrieve back again same as previous.

Beach. A place that really makes my mind calm, feels peace, quite and etc. I came here to clear my mind and made up a choice, to live on and to forget. What is mine surely is mine. Even if I let her go, she will eventually come back to me. But even if she would not, I do what also, she will not coming back to me.

I saw this quote on the net previous day and I feel it’s quite meaningful.

FiRe BurNinG

Maybe you have everything in this world; good job, good health, good relationship with friends, very wealthy, a lot of money to spend and enough for the rest of your life. But life like this seems missing something. Guess what? LOVE. Without love life is just like a body without soul. It is not something that we should ignore.

Falling in love is so easy, but it is hard to keep the flame of love continuously burning. Thus, before falling in love, better know the person well and make sure that person is truly sincere to you.

Love gives meaning to our life. Love makes our life more colourful, interesting, excitement, and etc. And without love, life in meaningless. There are people who live alone, and happy by themselves but do you really want that? Love is meant for life and life is for love. It is easy to fall in love but it is hard to keep the fire burning. Surely this is about how we preserve the fire and make fire last forever. This requires work of two people and not only one side. Egotistic person makes our life miserable because they only care about themselves and ignore the feelings of people that care about him/her. Therefore it is okay to let go or get rid of this kind of people as soon as possible!! “Short pain better than long pain” (in Cantonese)

Ghost Of You - MLTR

Summer's ended and without a trace
time goes by - while you remain
Funny how I thought I walked on through
with my heart in one

[Chorus:]

Why do I still cry for you
dying to get close to you
Why do I still fear to face
the ghost of you

How I tried to get you of my mind
but you return - all the time
I believed I could just let you go
like the fool I am

[Chorus:]

Why do I still cry for you
dying to get close to you
Oh baby why do I still fear to face
the ghost of you

[Release:]

I've been trying to release you
to get my feet back on the ground
Still I need my hope to hold on to
even if I know i should back away
It's just a part of me that I can't erase

[Chorus:]

Why do I still cry for you
dying to get close to you
Why do I still fear to face
the ghost of you

[Outro:]

Baby, baby why
Anyway I try I'm still reminded
(the ghost of you)
Anywhere I go I keep colliding with
(the ghost of you)
I've given up I just can't fight it
(the ghost of you)

Everytime I look away I see
the ghost of you........

Pretending

Sometimes we need to pretend that we are alright and fine. Sometimes we just do not want to worried people beside you. Sometimes we just do not want people pity on us. Sometimes you just do not want to be realized by other people. But how long we need to pretend to be like this? It is just like carrying a Time Bomb. When we try to hide out feeling in front of people, deep inside our heart, surely feels so hurt, so pain, so upset. “Sedikit sedikit lama lama jadi bukit” BoooMM!!

Forget him/her!

Angry= torturing yourself over someone else’s mistakes.

As for me, no point keeps angry as this going to make your life miserable. Why don’t we just be cheerful and happy?

Same goes to sad.

As what I think, no point keep continue to torture yourself over someone that do not know how to appreciate you. This is my definition of sad or angry.

Even we keep on sad, things are not going to change expect you going to worry people beside you. Accept the truth and face the reality that even without him/her you can live happy. Friends and family are always being there for you, always! Keep this in mind. Do not be stubborn! Listen to what your friends or family’s advice. Logically, there are no exact ways to overcome this, it depends on how you choose and how you want to handle it.

As for now, surely you will never able to forget him/her as he/she has become part of your life. But do not take it as the end of the world. You should not have think of anything about commit suicide! Surely you are willing to die for someone you love, but are you going to die over someone that does not love you anymore? Forget, slowly, and patiently. No need rush as Time Heals All Wound. Right?

100 ReASoNS WHY I LoVe YoU

1. I love you because your beauty
2. I love you because you are my love
3. I love you because I can trust your honesty
4. I love you because your loyalty to me
5. I love you because I believe you
6. I love you because I thinking of you every moment
7. I love you because of your kindness
8. I love you because of what you are
9. I love you because your personality
10. I love you because I just feels that way when I see you
11. I love you because I want to spend my life with you
12. I love you because I want to be by your side
13. I love you because I want to see you every day
14. I love you because your understanding with me even when I don’t deserve it
15. I love you because you always can make me laugh or smile even at times when I don’t want to
16. I love you because your gentle voices, sounds
17. I love you because your gentleness
18. I love you because you are always concerned about me
19. I love you because I like the way you hold me
20. I love you because your incredible eyes
21. I love you because I like the way you walk
22. I love you because I like the way you talk
23. I love you because I like your craziness to me
    
24. I love you because you make me feel like the most happy person on this world
25. I love you because I can depend on you.
26. I love you because I know when I have a problem I can come to you.
27. I love you because when we have a problem, we always together find a solution to it.
28. I love you because you always encouraging me
29. I love you because the way you makes me feel about myself
30. I love you because you say I LOVE YOU
31. I love you because you makes me looking forward for tomorrow
32. I love you because YOU LOOK Gorgeous!
33. I love you because I like the way you kiss me
34. I love you because I care about you so much
35. I love you because you love me for what I am
36. I love you because I need you
37. I love you because I want to spend my time with you
38. I love you because I feels comfortable be with you
39. I love you because you have a beautiful soothing/soft voice.
40. I love you because you’ll give me a hug when I need one
41. I love you because you are forgiving
42. I love you because without you, my life just feels different
43. I love you because without you, I cant concentrate
44. I love you because without you I cant do things right
45. I love you because without you I always feels lonely
46. I love you because I want to see you everyday
47. I love you because you are easy to get along with
48. I love you because what you are
49. I love you because you are different from others
50. I love you because I feels empty without you
51. I love you because I want you to tell me how you love me everyday
52. I love you because I like the way you look at me right before you tell me you love me.
53. I love you because you can make me more happy than any person can
54. I love you because your faithfulness
55. I love you because of the sweet present you give me
56. I love the way you look at me and tell me how much love you
57. I love the way you surprise me sometimes
58. I love you because your always concerned about me
59. I love you because you can read my mind.
60. I love you because you always think of me first instead of yourself.
61. I love you because I can always forgive what you have done
62. I love you because you are not greedy
63. I love you because you always make me feel better
64. I love you because you able to go well with my family
65. I love you because you are confident
66. I love you because you are strong
67. I love you because you always blush when I say sweet things
68. I love you because I can speak my mind and feelings freely with you.
69. I love you because you care of me
70. I love you because no other person out there can take over your place
71. I love you because we can discuss our future
72. I love you because able to foresee our future life
73. I love you because you are interesting
74. I love you because whenever I think of you, it makes me feels happy
75. I love you because you always ask my opinion on things
76. I love you because you easily jealous over me and my friends, shows that you care
77. I love you because you makes my life wonderful
78. I love you because you makes my life full of joy
79. I love you because you are my sunshine
80. I love you because you bring hope to my life
81. I love you because you give me some space
82. I love you because you remain loyal to me
83. I love you because you are always so perfect to me
84. I love you because you have a nice family
85. I love you because you care of my feelings
86. I love you because you are so perfect to me
87. I love you because I like the way you look into my eyes
88. I love you because I am happy when I see you
89. I love you because you are adorable
90. I love you because you are so sweet
91. I love you because you are so detail in doing things
92. I love you because you give 100% on everything you done
93. I love you because you are so cute when you are mad
94. I love the way you play around with me.
95. I love you because without you in my life, there’s nothing.
96. I love you because you are forgiving.
97. I love you because you care about me so much
98. I love you because you are the one in my heart
99. I love you because you always comfort me and give me a shoulder to cry on when i need it
100. I love you because you are my first thought in the morning, and my last thought at night.
     
     There’re still thousands or millions of reason why I love you. But the main reason…. Is just…. I LOVE YOU!!

Destiny

Do you believe that everything is being arranged for us by God? Our fate? Destiny? This depends on our beliefs. I do believe in this kind of matter as I experience before. Last time, I still remember clearly. That day, when I come back from school, I walk home and I nearly being hit by a motor. And really happens. Few days after that, I involved in an accident, broken leg and have to walk using tongkat. Coincident? This depends whether you want to believe or not. I believe. It seems like it is set for me to involve in accident but I escape that day. Believe it or not?

There is no free lunch. There are no easy things in this world. We must bear in mind that this is only challenges created by God to test us. In relationship, there may be a lot of obstacles and hardships but surely nothing can stop us if we believe and trust on each other, right? Well, I think we should not give up or else what we have gone through will be meaningless. Our sacrifice, time forgone, resource used, and etc, all of this will be wasted if we give up.

Never give up!! No Pain No Gain!!

Right??

When we are in love, we unable to see things clearly and think wisely. But is it ok to act so? We may unable to control our feelings but at least do not let the feeling take over your mind. Consider whether it is correct to do that. In relationship, there is no right or wrong. But in reality, what you are doing may perhaps be wrong. That is why we must be able to think wisely, intelligently and rationally. Love can makes us do something that is stupid, nonsense or foolish. People say love makes people goes blind. It seems like this is true. For example, nowadays we often heard about news of teenagers commit suicide over love. This is a very foolish act and unforgivable.

We are just a tiny existence in this world. Even if we died, nothing in this world will going to change. Things will still go on as usual as time slowly goes on. The people that will be intensely hurt are your parents. So, dying for someone that does not love you anymore, is not worth it!!

Feelings

Our feeling is so hard to convey in words. We unable to control our feelings although we have set our mind not to think about it. Yesterday, i saw her at Queensbay Mall, with other guy. I told myself not to think about this matter again. But my feeling is hard for me to control. After seeing her with him. I can’t stop thinking about her again. I really regret coming here. If I did not come here yesterday, maybe I am able to take this matter easily and forget her slowly.
Everything has its first time. Although I have know about this about a week ago, but I did not personally see him and her. I felt so sad and heartbreaking. I just do not want to keep this inside my heart. I just want to release whatever inside me, and that’s why I tell you how I feel. I know that you had advised me so many times to let go of her and I really really have let you down. That is what I feel at the moment and honestly I do not think that way. I am still in progress to forget her and surely I will remember what you told me…all the time.....

SO SORRY……..

Wed 07, 2008

Long time I din watch ghost movie already. Quite amusing as I get shock easily. I do not have this kind of feelings for quite some times already. Thank you for accompanying me today. Today you look totally different from before, you look gorgeous. You look matured, stunning, striking, pretty, sweet and beautiful. Erm, I din mean that usually you’re not pretty la. Just, today you looked so different and I almost can’t recognize you d. Haha!! Anyway, I just hope you’re not bored of listen to my stories and bla bla bla. The movie was great, “The Ghost Portrait” but, usually ghost movies doesn’t have any happy conclusion (No Ending).=.=”. And the lunch at Little Oasis was nice too. Well, quite fun and happy spending time with you and looking forward for other time again…ok? Haha.. Too bad I unable to snap picture of you. Honestly, you look great!!

Sacrifice

When we fall in love to someone, we are willing to sacrifice anything to him or her without any payment or rewards. Moreover, we are ready to accept all strengths and weaknesses of our partner without any question. We are willing to spend the next of our life together with him or her without any regrets. No matter what happens, we are sacrifices our time, money and whatever that we have just to be with that person and always tries to make the person happy.

Source: Lim Chean Hooi BBA, UNITAR Critical Thinking, Semester Jan 2008, Individual Presentation

The question is how much you willing to sacrifice? Your future? Do you risk your future? What if the one we willing to sacrifice everything for him/her do not worth all these? Ever consider of this point? Are you going to give up your opportunity to go study abroad just because of a girl you know for about a year? Are you? Will you ever regret if he/she does not appreciate what you have done to him/her? In this world, what most important should become our aim and objective which is education and money. For example, equip with only SPM qualification is not going to bring you anywhere.

You may think that without education, as long as we work hard, we still can survive, is this right? Work hard for your whole life? Think this way, works hard requires time. This means less time spend with our love one. This happens all the time. Problems will slowly arise. Stress of work will come along too. Disaster coming!! Potential problems, right? Think about it. Haha…

On the other hand, people says if you really love a person you are willing to do whatever things just to make the person happy. Even he/she do not realize your existence, you are still willing to sacrifice for him/her. Maybe this is right. Loving someone does not mean must to be together with him or her, as long as he/she is happy, then it is enough for you already. right?

Tree Vs Forest

People once told me, do not give up the whole forest because just a single tree. I think it is correct-half. There is a big world out there and a lot of people waiting for you but think of yourself first. Are you the type of people that is “choosing” or waited to be “choose”? I know that in this world surely there are people that will be suitable for you but do you take risk? If you unable to find one, you going to be single for the rest of your life. Do you take the risk? Of course I am not talking about myself. My grandma told me, I am still young, after finish my studies and then slowly find one. True! But, on the other hand, how if the one you are letting go is really the one you really love? The opposite of the phase “do not give up the whole forest because just a single tree”. If you really find the one you really love, you are willing to give up the whole forest just because of a tree.

Parents

I have a question in mind. Do you all ever ignore what your parent says? How about if your parent asks you do not be together with the one you love? What will you do? Run from house? I have no answer in mind, but based on my personal experience, you will follow what your parent says, right? As for me, what we see today may not what we see tomorrow. Agreed? Anything can change in 24 hours time, human easily change. For example, today I love you, tomorrow, I love you not. Even relationship that already last for few months, years, or few years time can diminish in just one night. Anyway, this is just what I think. Parent disagree must have their own reasons. Example, that guy or girl is a smoker, alcoholic, jobless, poor, lazy, and etc. Mostly people nowadays will goes against what their parent and do what they wants as what they have in their mind. But try to think on your parent side, they surely do not want to see you to be with that kind of person. What we see today may not what we see tomorrow, people we trusted and believe may not be the same person again tomorrow.

People easily change but will you regret? Think logically, your parents are correct. Think wisely or else you will regret in the future. Surely you will!!

Friend Forever...

I am glad having friends to support and care of me at this moment. When I am sad, you all console me, comfort me and back me up. A smile can make people happy, love can make our world go around and a friend makes my world worth living. Thank you all. When I think back of the sad moment, my life is so down and meaningless. It is same as an airplane without pilot, a car without driver, a clock without battery, and a man without heart. Maybe that time I just feel lost, having no direction, no aim, no goals and no objective.

A famous quote sounds “we reliant on parents at home while we reliant on friends in outside”. It means that the valuable of friends to us. A true friendship makes life more worth living.

Source: Lim Chean Hooi BBA, UNITAR Critical Thinking, Semester Jan 2008, Individual Presentation

But for now, I am so happy and glad having you all to support me and cheer me up. To those that accompany go through this hard time, thank you so much. Thanks all.

Understand me?

How well do you understand on a person? Or how will you be able to trust on a person? Surely, it is based on our personal experience. When two people in love, they must trust believe and have confident towards each other. When you spend time with him/ her you will be able to understand him/her better. Thus, we place faith on each other and hoping that they would not do something that would shatter the faith on each other. Both of us may not be together all the time, believing in each other is what we can do and must have no doubts towards our partner.

When you understand a person, you will able to guess what he/she going to do. For example, you know your partner so well that you know he/she would not do betray you and together with other people. In life, this is a common thing. People often treat love as just leisure of life. Once fed up, they will get new or get change. And I believe that everyone have right to be selfish, right? (Egoism)

Love at beginning is quite sweet and happy; once people get bored with same stuff surely they want a new breath in their relationship. For example, here comes the third party.

Funny when think back, if this is going to happen how you going to prevent it? Or can we?

Education requirement in today’s working area are getting higher and higher. If you are in secondary school, better study hard and get a place in local university. Anyhow, get at least a degree; if not, what you earned may be enough for yourself but not for your wife and children. What do you all think? Even if we choose the partner of our life, this significantly applies. Are you going to choose a husband who is just a factory operator? Or are you going to choose a wife who is lazy, inconsiderable and do not know how to cook? Do not think that life is what you all see in television. Choosing a wife or a husband without caring what he or she does. You again may feel sweet and happy at the beginning. But life in reality continue after a “happy ending” as what we usually see in movie, drama or television. Will be going to be happy with your family condition? You may say never mind, but in reality, do you? Can you?

We may be happy but think back, for how long? For the short term? Or for the rest of our life?

Decide carefully. You have choice in your hand and hopefully you will not regret with your decision. This this way, "long pain better short pain"

Love is abstract; we cannot touch, cannot see and can’t hear whereas we can only feel the existence of love with only our heart. When two people decide to be together, they have to trust and believe on each other. Whenever any problem arises, both are responsible to that problem and should not be responsibility on any one side. Do you all agree with me? For instance, when one side give a cold treatment, therefore the other side should know what to do and how to handle him/her. We should not think that he/she is the one who wrong first therefore he/she must apologize to me. Trust me, if this keeps on, both side will suffer eventually.

Love should not be treated as an amusement of life. In this world many people who do not know the real significance of love. Love does not have a real explanation. It depends on us to interpret and see it. Love seems has magic power because sometimes because of love might do something beyond our capability. We can feel the present of love, the warm feeling, and the attraction reaction to another. If we just planned to fool around in this matter, surely this will hurt feelings of people around you. Therefore, think wisely and rationally before you want to “get on two boats at the same time”.

Source: Lim Chean Hooi BBA, UNITAR Critical Thinking, Semester Jan 2008, Individual Presentation

Reality

Human beings are so naïve. Drama, TV, movies and etc makes people think that it is right to follow our heart on doing something. Is this correct? People in love may say, I’m willing to follow you everywhere, even become a beggar also I want to be with you. Do you all agree? This may sound SO SWEET, but ask yourself do you really can do that? Unlike in Drama, people’s life and fate are determined by the script writer. Therefore you’ll be always correct to follow your heart as there’ll “always” be a happy ending. Agreed?

But, can we apply in the reality?

As for me, this is ridiculous, as in life there is no turning back and we’ll regret if the decision we made are wrong. Regret for the rest of our life. My concept is, think using our mind, not our heart. Think wisely and rationally because once we made up our mind, this will surely affect our life and the people around us. And, do we really willing to become a beggar? Or you all prefer to find someone better, reliable, “loaded” and love us more that we love him/her. If we find out that the person we’re in LOVE with is very irresponsible and lazy, are you going to continue the rest of your life with him? If you are able to change him/her then it’s ok. But how if you can’t? Think about it…using your head… not heart….

[Choose one to think or else you going to be confused]

Hahaha!!!

Trustworthy

Some people say that couple should not see each other every day. Do you all agree? This is because people say that if we see each other every time, we easily get bored. Is this correct? Some people say that not seeing each other for an hour is just like not seeing each other for several days. Is this correct too? It depends on us to make up our mind. I personally believe that if we see each other we are able to spend time more with each other. And we will be able to get to know each other better.

How about trustworthy?

Do you all (couples out there) trust each other?

Without any hesitation?

We trust a person based on our understanding of the person. When we are in a relationship, trusting each other is very important and essential. We are working everyday in different district or study in different part in this world and do not really know about each other at different places. This will depends on our bond and trust towards each other. Can we say that when one side is over trust is wrong? We trust the people we love and surely we have to decide to trust him/her. Therefore we place a trust and confident to him/her.

The question is “Are over trust is wrong?”

We place faith in each other and when problem occurs CAN we be BLAME because we trusted him/her? Funny!!

The World..

I realize that there is no use for us being miserable, even we depressed, nothing will change. We can’t go back in time to change the past. Maybe in the future, does have this kind of machine. But, I think by that time surely we all already overcome our sorrow, unhappiness and misery. That time, are you going to change the history if u can? Are you going to go through all of those same things again? As for me, the world isn’t going to wait, halt or stop for us to be sad and sob. From time to time, this kind of things we can straightforwardly say, but to do it, it’s so tough. Same as me, even all of this time we have been sad but nothing going to change if lock yourself inside room and shed tears under your pillow. Correct? And those guys out there, don ever think of commit suicide, he/she is not going to come back even you die. People may be sad for a certain period, but you’ll be forgotten sooner or later. Don’t ever commit such stupid act!

Appreciate

Human being are so unique. We all learn from mistakes, same as things we have lost. when something is wrong, we immediately take action and implement it make sure things come back as what they suppose to. WE will only start to appreciate when we lost that things. Whether that things is important or not, small or big, expensive or cheap, also does not matter. Someone who u treated cold last time, and when the person is gone, you will feel emptiness deep inside your heart. Somethings, which u only keep it inside a box, never open to see it. After the feelings is gone, now you open it everyday also meaningless. I've been thinking these few days, and i realize that, we are not too late to start appreciate the things we lost, just hope that its not far too late........

Life never like this before....

Life gonna continue anyway.... but..i cant let it go just like that..... but... what can i do.... nothing??!! Haiz..Sad memories still fresh inside my mind.. keep hunted my mind whenever I'm alone.. i cant concentrate in doing anything also. when i open my book to study, i stare at the word....for so so so long...and my mind was not there... i tried to find something to do... to keep my mind busy all the time.. start hiking every evening.but.... do i have the determination to continue doing this....do i?? this Question which i do not know the answer..............
I need to face it and prepare myself for the worst scenario that would happen..but i never predicted this would happen...to me..........

1st May 2008

I've never being so sad in my life before.... NEVER!! i try my best not to think so much..however... i keep think and think end up being more sad.. I'm so LOST... i want to find something to do to drunk myself up. Rather than thinking of those sad stuff... i think i have to face the reality... but...but...whenever lying down..i begin to recall those memories... GOD....Please help me... i really don't know what to do already.. This feeling kills me.. I feels so HARD to go through my life like this.. After all I've done... this is what i get. I really need to go through this but memories of past killing me every seconds.
"HaPpY Over My StuPidiTy... Sad CuZ BeiNg CheATed... AnGrY Over DisHoNesTy... DiSaPPoiNtEd Of ThE OuTCoMe... DAmN HaTe My LiFe..."
I'm so hate myself...
I'm so dumb to let it END like this...
ARGGGGGG.............Damn hate myself!!!!!!